Jul 30 2008
Snappy Comebacks to ADD Doubters
Tired of hearing people say that ADD doesn’t exist—or
that it’s somehow your fault? When self-appointed
“experts” speak their mind, it can be hard to convince
them of the truth: that the debate about the existence
of ADD is over! Mainstream medical, psychological,
and educational organizations long ago concluded
that ADD is real, and that children and adults with the
disorder benefit from treatment. So next time one of
these five types of ADD naysayers speaks his opinion,
use these snappy comebacks to respond.
1THE SKEPTIC denies the very existence of ADD, calling it a
phantom that was cooked up as an excuse for bad parenting.
What about the adults who say they have ADD? “They just need to
grow up and take responsibility for their shortcomings, rather than
blaming an illness.”
Here’s what to do:
Explain that the reason they don’t “believe in” ADD is
because they’ve probably been lucky enough never to
have experienced it.
Use hard facts. The National Institute of Mental Health
counts ADD as a real medical condition; so does the
American Psychological Association, which includes ADD
in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders, the bible of mental-health professionals.
Agree to disagree. Say, “We have different opinions on
this issue, so let’s agree to disagree and not discuss it.”
Try sarcasm. “Gosh, it must be nice to be smarter than
thousands of doctors, scientists, and psychologists.”
2THE CRUSADER takes a holier-than-thou approach,
second-guessing adults who take ADD medications and parents
who give them to their kids. “I would never take a stimulant medication
or give one to my child,” she proclaims.
Here’s what to do:
Make it clear that drug therapy for ADD is not a cause for
shame. Medicating your child doesn’t make you a lazy or
incompetent parent. It shows you are an effective parent.
Look her in the eye and ask, “If you had diabetes, would
you not take insulin? Would you deny insulin to a child
who had diabetes? Then why should I withhold appropriate
medication from my child?”
Issue a challenge. Ask, “What do you think is the best
solution?”
3THE JOKER takes potshots at ADD, using sarcasm and pretending
that his barbs are innocuous. A Joker might say, “I wish
I had ADD! At least then I’d have an excuse for my bad behavior.” Or,
“Pass the Ritalin—I could use a (wink, wink) ‘boost.’”
Here’s what to do:
Use selective silence. As soon as you realize someone is
being nasty, follow Ghandi’s example—choose not to
respond.
Be blunt. Look them in the eye and ask, “Are you trying
to help me or hurt me?”
Be direct. “When you say X, I feel Y,” or “Mocking my
medical condition is hurtful, and I’d like you to stop.”
Take it to the next level. If The Joker is in your work
place and the direct approach fails, consider moving up
the chain of command or consulting a lawyer.
Kill them with kindness. Say, “I know you only say that
because you care.”
Give them a taste of their own medicine. Say, “You done
‘spressin’ yourself?”
4THE OSTRICH can’t accept that a person (including himself
or his own child) has ADD—even when shown evidence to the
contrary. Or, in response to news that his child has been diagnosed
with ADD, he might inform the doctor, “There’s nothing wrong with
my kid that an old-fashioned spanking won’t cure.”
Here’s what to do:
Educate. Simply state the facts and move on.
Neither agree or disagree. Just muse aloud, “Hmm. I
suppose that’s possible.”
If you’re married to an Ostrich, say, “This is not about you
or how you feel about ADD. It’s about our child and what
we need to do for her.”
5THE VOICE OF DOOM She sees a bleak future for ADD
kids, ignoring the evidence suggesting that people with ADD
are often energetic, intelligent, and creative.
Here’s what to do:
Be gracious. Remark, “That’s an interesting viewpoint. I’ll
have to give that some thought.”
Try honesty. Say, “That comment really hurt my feelings.”
Turn the tables. “If Richard Branson can found Virgin
Records and Virgin Atlantic Airways, despite having ADD,
I’m not worried about my son,” or “If my daughter turns
out as well as Suzanne Somers or Whoopi Goldberg, who
both have ADD, that’s fine with me!”
From: additudemag.com
